5 Things to Remember When You Feel Like a Failure | Lynne McLean Brown Life Coaching

You have Options

When everything is going wrong you feel like you are stuck with your situation. You can feel totally helpless and the stress of it all can rob you of the ability to see your choices. It can help to share what is going on with a supportive person, whether that is family, a friend, life-coach or other professional. Find someone who will help you offload and remind you that you have options. Knowing that you are able to make changes or focus on what you can do to support yourself is empowering. It may take time before things improve but you are not stuck and destined to a life of doom.

A coffee lies spilt upon a pavement
Photo by Kolar.io on Unsplash

you are not the only one who feels this way

It is so easy to look at other people and assume that they have everything figured out. We see others and think that they are succeeding, and thriving while we are simply trying to get through the day. You cannot know the struggles a person is dealing with. People who are struggling do not carry a sign around. All of us at one point or another, we will all feel like a failure. Some of us will feel this way more often especially if we struggle with our mental health or self-confidence. Nevertheless, you are not the only person who feels like a failure or feels like they don’t measure up. Remember that how you feel is a sign that you are up against the wall and feeling the pressure. It’s not about you as a person.

Don't Take it Personally

Don’t beat yourself for the things that are going wrong. Beating yourself up mentally doesn’t motivate or fix anything. Instead, it compounds those feelings making you feel more and more like a loser. Giving yourself a hard time makes you give up and lose faith. The challenges you face are not proof of your inadequacy. We turn the tables on ourselves we blame us rather than our situation. we make ourselves wrong for how we feel.

There are no Straight Roads

We tend to think that success is a slow and steady progression, where we consistently and steadily rise up to our goal. In reality, success and overcoming obstacles is a long and bumpy road. Instead of the straight lines that we imagine there are actually peaks and troughs. When you feel like a failure this does not have to be the final destination. It means you find your situation hard and that it is causing you to doubt yourself. You failing doesn’t have to be the end of the story. You can give up for a while and have another go tomorrow.

You Are Allowed to pause

It is ok to slow down and take a break when life gets hard. If we need to focus on making baby steps rather than big strides. We can tread water and just get by if we need to. We get to choose the pace when life gets hard. If you are feeling like you are failing it is ok to step away and try again another day. When we feel like a failure its seems like our only options are to carry on or give up. We do do not need to Power through or slay the day 24/7. It is ok to choose softness, compassion and rest when you feel weak.

You are Not A failure

When life gets hard it is natural to have feelings about that. When you feel like a failure remember that this is a natural reaction to your struggle. At the same time remember that this does not make it the truth about who you are. When we make our mistakes and challenges personal we make it harder to overcome them. We feel alone, we give up or we push through in a bid to prove ourselves wrong. We can feel like there are no choices in our situation. Succeed or fail, win or lose.

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Lynne McLean Brown

Lynne McLean Brown

Caffeine addict, mum of two, aerialist, yogi, traveller, wife, stationery horder, baker, life coach and writer at www.lynnemcleanbrown.com