3 Things to Remind Yourself When You Feel Guilty | Lynne McLean Brown Life Coaching

I think life feels tough for many of us right now. Whether you are in lockdown, struggling with homeschooling or missing family and friends, it all just feels overwhelming. It is understandable if you are feeling a bit flat and grumpy right now. When you feel stressed and unmotivated it is that little bit harder who you want to be. It is so easy to lose your patience with the kids or to let your frustration bubble over onto other things. It is all understandable given the circumstances, but at times I feel guilty about everything that has been given only half my attention and none of my patience.

When You Feel Guilty

Last week was particularly tough for me personally. There isn’t a concrete reason for this that I can put my finger on. I am not homeschooling fortunately and everyone I know is safe and well. At the same time, I haven’t seen my family for a year, all my events and socialising are on pause again. In the back of my mind, I am worried about how long this pandemic will last. I worry about getting all of us through this crazy event unscathed. Should we try to go outside safely to help us stay well? Is it better to just stay home another week? How many more weeks are ahead of us anyway? Winter in Norway has always felt a little too long and dark by January. This year feels that little bit longer and darker.

I am lacking that spark or motivation at the moment. I’m short-tempered and I’ve had to pay real attention to my mental health. It is really difficult, but I don’t want to feel guilty because I know that am doing my best. I don’t want to stress about not feeling enough because I can’t give any more right now. So, here are some of the things I remind myself of when I feel guilty and overwhelmed.

Let Things Wait

It’s tough when you feel like you are being pulled in so many different directions. Days like this feel like nothing is getting any real-time and attention. At the same time, you are trying to do your best to catch up and do everything in the time frame you have. If you are feeling overwhelmed and torn right now remember that is a legitimate response to a tough situation.

You only have so many hours in the day. There is a physical limit to how much one person can actually do. If you give all your attention to homeschooling then your naturally not going to have much energy left for your own work or housework. You cannot do it all no matter how much you think you should. We all have a limit.

If you need to say no to playing with your kids cause you need space for yourself then do not feel guilty about putting yourself first. Sometimes you need to let other things wait while you tackle something else. If you need to leave the dishes in the sink or let the laundry pile up till you get to your last pair of pants then so be it. You can only do so much so the tasks you are behind with are a natural reaction to the pressure you are under.

Photo by Intricate Explorer on Unsplash

Lower your Expectations

There are times when I can approach new projects with enthusiasm and remember everything I need to do. On days like these, I also parent the kids in a calmly and fairly and generally keep on top of everything. Life just feels easier but right now is not one of those times. We are all a bit tired and war-weary in this house so we need to remember to lower our expectations. Mum is sometimes grumpy, the kids have even less patience or attention span than normal. There are also fewer options available for getting a breather and taking a step away. right now.

At times like these, it is important to remember that getting through the day in one piece is enough. Anything on top of that is an extra. When you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out by life, the last thing you need is more pressure. Do yourself the favour of not adding the pressure of expecting yourself to carry on as if it is business as usual when life doesn’t feel that way.

Don’t Make it Personal

On the days where everything feels overwhelming, it can all feel very personal. I start to question what is wrong with me? Why am I not motivated or organised? It can be tempting to think that it is us that needs to get our act together rather than seeing the situation for what it is. We are all feeling like we are at the end of our rope right now. If you are struggling and feeling guilty about everything remember that it’s the situation that sucks, not you.

You are doing your best. The things you are struggling with are about a hard situation, not our lack of organisation, strength or resilience. You are still a worthwhile person when you are overloaded and under pressure. Feeling stressed, guilty and torn are not evidence that you are a shitty human. They are evidence that life is hard right now.

You are Doing Your Best

Life is tough right now so try to remember to cut yourself some slack. When you feel guilty about all the tasks that need your attention it is so important to take a moment. There are only so many things you can attend at one time. Everyone has a limit so it is natural to feel stressed and overwhelmed when there is too much on your plate.

As uncomfortable as this might sound, sometimes we need to let things pile up and do things at our own pace rather than the pace the world is throwing things at us. Remind yourself that you are doing your best in a tough situation. How well or badly you manage your daily tasks does not change how worthy you are. Don’t expect too much of yourself right now.

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Originally published at https://www.lynnemcleanbrown.com on January 22, 2021.